


Cut To The Feeling

by Zee



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: M/M, Oral Sex, Rough Oral Sex, Sex Pollen, but everyone consents as much as they're able to given the circumstances, some discussions of possible dubious consent because it's sex pollen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-21
Updated: 2017-08-21
Packaged: 2018-12-18 08:37:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,703
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11870619
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zee/pseuds/Zee
Summary: Magnus and Alec get into a scuffle with an incubus and are hit by incubus sex pollen. Set after Ep 1x12, but before 2x6.





	Cut To The Feeling

**Author's Note:**

  * For [misspamela](https://archiveofourown.org/users/misspamela/gifts).



> Written as a commission for misspamela! I hope you like it MissP, it was a blast to write :D Takes place in some nebulous time after episode 1x12, but before 2x6. The title is a Carly Rae Jepsen song.

The only reason Magnus had tagged along on this mission was that it was supposed to be routine. The look of hopeful yearning on Alec’s face when he’d said ‘routine’ made it clear how badly he needed any hint of a return to normalcy, and Magnus wanted to be a part of Alec’s life, a part of his routines and all the things he considered normal. Things still felt so uncertain between them, and as Alec kept reminding him, they hadn’t even gone on a first date yet. 

Shadowhunting as an activity made Magnus feel uncomfortable and awkward at best, but he needed to get used to this if he was going to date a shadowhunter. Might as well start now, with something routine, something that seemed to have Alec in a good mood (comparatively--it was hard to tell with him, sometimes, but he was glaring slightly less) as they set out into the city at night.

Routine. Ha. Magnus should have asked at the outset just what ‘routine’ meant to a Lightwood, because if this was it then perhaps he should adjust certain expectations in his life, such as the amount of alcohol sufficient for self-care. Perhaps he needed to make another trip to Ireland to restock his whiskey stores. Perhaps he needed his own private distillery set up in his guest room.

The incubus--succubus? The demon had some kind of illusion magic which allowed its shape to fluctuate, shimmering its way between different gender performances with the truth impossible to discern. It writhed and convulsed at the end of the alleyway, clawing at the arrow protruding out of his back. In its distress, it was emitting waves of what seemed to be colorful mist, alternating between red and purple and pink. Magnus had been around his fair share of incubi and had seen them do the mist thing only once, but that had been blue, and the effects had been orgasmic asphyxiation. He didn’t know what these other colors did, but Alec was advancing right into them, freckling his face with pink and purple and red, and he didn’t seem to be choking.

He also was paying no mind to Magnus’ frantic attempts to drag him out of the direct line of fire--mist--whatever. His face was its usual stoic combat mask and he was firing arrow after arrow into the demon like a machine. One in its leg, one in its chest. There was a horrible scream and the demon made a slashing motion in the air, sending out some kind of force wave that Magnus could feel in advance of its arrival. He ducked behind a dumpster, doing his best to take Alec with him but of course that was futile, Alec just planted his feet and turned his face to the side and let whatever it was hit him square. Magnus felt fear coating the roof of his mouth, sticking against his teeth like chalk. 

Or maybe more like pollen. This was actual physical sensation now: Magnus had opened his mouth to yell Alec’s name, and now he was choking on whatever particulate matter the incubus was sending out in its death throes. Magnus covered his nose and mouth with the collar of his shirt and yelled for Alec again--he was still standing right where he’d been, but now he looked dazed, his face covered in different colors like he’d come from one of those paint-throwing festivals that white kids loved these days after they’d stolen the concept from India. 

Alec glanced towards the sound of his name and inclined his head, blinking with an unfocused gaze. His bow was still up, all that childhood shadowhunter training coming through to keep his battle stance steady no matter what. 

It was quite admirable really, but Magnus cared more about getting them both out of harm’s way than about sticking this demon with any more arrows. He spread his hands, light crackling between his palms, and sent the energy out to pull Alec towards him. 

The incubus shrieked as Alec was yanked off his feet and crashed into Magnus’ arms, the impact sending both of them to the ground. Pavement scraped Magnus’ back and he realized that Alec was on top of him--maybe it was his automatic instinct to roll and protect the body of whoever was with him in a situation like this, or maybe it was just how they’d ended up, but either way Magnus didn’t like it, not when there might still be dangerous waves of energy and particulate matter and sex magic coming while this incubus died. He shoved at Alec’s shoulder, but all his stupid shadowhunter muscles made him heavy and he didn’t budge. 

And while he didn’t look unconscious, he also didn’t look present. He was bracing himself off the ground but looking at Magnus without seeing him, his lips parted and his nostrils flared, sharp cheekbones streaked with red and pink dust. 

Magnus could throw up a protective shield for them both against any further blasts, or he could throw a spell at the incubus in the hopes of killing it already. Considering the possibility of these blasts outreaching the glamours that were supposed to hide this fight from bystanders, Magnus made a quick decision to aim for the demon. He reached out to press his palm to the dumpster and shoved it with his magic, and there was a screech as it slid over the street and crushed the demon against the far wall.

The colorful waves of energy stopped, as did the screams. Magnus was not a shadowhunter and therefore not strictly bound to their laws of taking troubled downworlders alive unless there was no other option, but he still felt badly. Death by dumpster was not a great way to go, even for incubi who were also serial rapists and killers.

But more immediate than the guilt were the strange sensations coursing through his limbs. He felt hot all over--actually it was cold, he felt icy cold. No wait, now the heat was back. And he was arching upwards against Alec, his fingers wrapped around Alec’s biceps and his thigh pressing against Alec’s groin. 

Which was all quite alarming because he hadn’t made any kind of conscious decision to start these physical advances and he didn’t want Alec to think that Magnus found demon-murdering in filthy alleyways to be nothing more than foreplay. He tried to control himself, leaning as far away from Alec as he could considering their circumstances, only to find that Alec was pressing down against him in return.

“Magnus…. What…”

Alec’s head was bowed so that Magnus couldn’t see his face, but he didn’t sound okay. He sounded out of it, to put it mildly. 

But they were pressed close enough together that Magnus could feel that he was hard, too. Normally Magnus wasn’t so demure but right now this was enough to make him blush and cringe away from Alec’s lips, currently nosing along his jaw. He didn’t want their first moments of real intimacy to be like this, circumstantial and confused with a demon’s corpse still fresh a few feet away.

“Alexander.” Magnus pushed and prodded until they were both sitting up, resolutely ignoring the way his skin still didn’t know what temperature it was and the way Alec’s proximity made his heart pound. He was fairly certain he knew what this effect was; he hadn’t experienced it in centuries, but these weren’t the kind of symptoms you forgot.

“What happened? The incubus--?”

Alec was blinking rapidly, looking around like he was waking from a dream. 

“Very dead. Your arrows kept him contained and then I dropped a dumpster on him.”

“We should--I should call. Should call the Institute.”

So Alec called and the clean-up crew arrived, strengthening the concealment wards and shuffling Alec and Magnus off to the side while they examined the crime scene. Magnus was happy to let others clean up this mess. No one thanked them for intercepting the demon when they had and thus saving the small group of bewitched humans that were still huddled at the end of the street, bewildered and still horny but very much alive, but then that was shadowhunters for you. They weren’t known for their graciousness.

Magnus turned to Alec as soon as the other shadowhunters were done asking him questions. “Let’s get out of here,” he said. 

Alec had his usual stoic expression on, but his breathing was labored. “I don’t…. Shouldn’t we stay and help?”

“I’m sorry, I’ll rephrase. Let’s get the hell out of here.” Magnus didn’t bother keeping the edge of panic out of his voice. His erection was straining uncomfortably against his pants and he was still sweating all over. He could feel his eyeliner and mascara smearing stickily over his cheeks. 

Alec bit his lip and Magnus immediately thought of biting in the same place, or directing those teeth to his own flesh, his neck and collarbones and thighs and. Fuck, he really needed to get them away from prying eyes. “I’m not sure.”

Magnus took Alec by the forearm, noting the full-body shudder this provoked. “I know what’s happening to you. What’s happening to us both. It would be better if we were inside my apartment, somewhere safe and familiar. Better for everyone else.”

Alec didn’t put up any further argument and they left together, a stumble in both their steps. Everything was amplified; Magnus could hear Alec’s heartbeat, or he was imagining he could hear it. Portaling the remaining way to Magnus’ apartment instead of going three subway stops was unnecessary, but Magnus didn’t give a shit. They needed to be away from the stinking city streets and away from other people.

***

“How do you feel?”

They were both showered, hydrated, and Magnus had done what spells he could do banish the parts of this condition that were spell-based rather than biological. Magnus still had some of whatever that blast had been in his system, and he was sure that Alec did too. But he could mostly think straight, at least, and now that Alec was in clean clothes and no longer bloodied Magnus felt a little calmer about things.

His dick had been varying degrees of erect for an hour now, with only a brief respite immediately after he jerked off in the shower. So that was uncomfortable, but Magnus had voluntarily put himself through longer periods of sustained arousal and orgasm denial before; even if he hadn’t explored this outside of play situations with partners, it wasn’t unfamiliar territory.

Alec looked up at Magnus’ question, his eyes sharper than they’d been in that alley, right after being dosed. He was sitting cross-legged on the couch, wearing Magnus’ clothes--loose yoga pants that draped softly over his thighs and an old t-shirt, plain and black. His lips were set in a firm line and the only sign of the physical discomfort he was surely feeling were the beads of sweat on his forehead and his hands primly folded in his lap, an attempt to discreetly hide the erection that Magnus was certain would otherwise be visible through the yoga pants. Magnus was wearing one of his bathrobes, but he’d put on sweatpants underneath, giving a nod to propriety for once. 

“I feel fine,” Alec said, voice strained and clearly the furthest thing from fine. 

“You got hit with more of the succubi magic than I did.” Magnus stepped closer to him, but stopped when Alec’s shoulders stiffened. His chest rose and fell heavily, his breaths uneven. Magnus had to drag his gaze upward from staring at the visible outline of Alec’s nipples, back up to his face. 

Magnus swallowed. Alec looked afraid, and he hated that. He couldn’t make it worse.

They hadn’t even had a single conversation about sex yet. There just hadn’t been time, not since the wedding. Given the dramatic way this thing between them had started, given the barriers they’d already had to cross just to get to the point of a first kiss, Magnus hadn’t wanted to rush anything. Hadn’t wanted to initiate any awkward conversations. He was kicking himself for that now.

Clearing his throat, Magnus fixed his gaze at a point above Alec’s shoulder. “I thought you might want to be here while this passed through your system, since I’m in a similar situation and this way no one else has to know. But if you would rather be somewhere else, of course I understand. I can call Isabelle--”

“No.” Alec stood abruptly, and Magnus was hit with an urge to cross the room and touch him, a sudden impulse strong enough that he rocked forward slightly on his feet before catching himself. “No, here is good. Being here is good. With you.”

Magnus’ heart twisted. He wanted to read so much into that ‘with you,’ wanted it to mean something. Maybe it did mean something--it was so hard to tell with Alec. Magnus had reached to find meaning in the most subtle facial expressions and monotone words before, and he hadn’t been wrong: Alec had proved him right at his wedding. But here and now, what it most likely meant was that the magical drugs in his system wanted him to be here, with Magnus. With any warm body that he was attracted to.

“All right,” Magnus said, and anything else he might have said died in his throat as Alec crossed the room. Intent was written into each of his movements, clear in the set of his jaw and his furrowed brow, and Magnus felt listless and unmoored in comparison. He let himself be touched, let Alec’s fingers twist in the fabric of his bathrobe, grabbed by the shoulders. This close, he had to tilt his head back and look up to meet Alec’s eyes.

“I don’t want to lose control,” Alec was saying now as his grip on Magnus turned vicelike. “I don’t want to, but I can’t--I can’t keep feeling this way.” 

“If you don’t want to, then we shouldn’t.” It was that simple, it had to be that simple. Magnus touched Alec’s hands, removed them from his shoulders and held them in his own, between their chests. “We should make ourselves comfortable, sweat this out, and then if we still want to--” What was wrong with him, that he was having a hard time talking about sex, as if he were several centuries younger than he was? “--do…. Anything, we can once we’re no longer under the influence.”

Alec gave no reply, kissing Magnus instead. It was not one of their better kisses. Alec was breathing so heavily and kissing too fast, his lips sliding over Magnus mouth again and again and his tongue pushing in. And he’d put all of his weight into it, making Magnus stagger back in surprise. 

Before he could react--and Magnus had no idea whether he’d been about to kiss back, pull him in closer or push him away, everything was too hot and too close--Alec was gone again, letting go of him and stepping back, putting space between them. 

“I don’t want to lose control,” Alec said again, each word shaking a little bit, and Magnus felt for him deeply: he’d held so many parts of himself back for so long, kept everything inside, all he’d known was control over himself. So much unlike Magnus, who had learned over the centuries not to really care about what other people saw. It couldn’t be easy to find yourself so compromised, right when you were learning that maybe some desires were worth following.

“And you haven’t lost control,” Magnus pointed out. “I’m very impressed with your self-discipline, actually.” He crossed the room briskly and sat on the couch, crossing his legs and attempting to radiate calm normalcy as much as he could with Alec’s eyes following him like that. “I don’t know how much longer the effects will remain in your system, but you’ve done an admirable job of resisting so far.”

“Admirable.” Alec dug the heels of his palms into his eye sockets. It looked painful. When he dropped his hands to his sides, he was glaring at Magnus. “But you don’t admire self-control and order. You’ve never admired that I try to follow the rules.”

Magnus’ breath caught. He wasn’t expecting this turn in their conversation. “It doesn’t matter what I--”

“Why are you resisting? Why aren’t you coming on to me?”

The back of Magnus’ neck had started to sweat, and he resisted the urge to wipe it or mess with his hair or press down the fabric of his shirtsleeves. If he started fidgeting, it might make it easier to slip all his physical control and make a grab for Alec. “Because I don't make a habit of coming on to people who are under the influence.”

“But we're dating, you already know that I--” Alec stopped, his throat working, and in the following moments of silence something seemed to shift within him. His face clouded over and then his eyes cleared, and when he glanced up at Magnus again it was… impossible to look away. Magnus was reminded of the first time they’d met--well, the second time they met, but the first time they touched, when Alec had caught him mid-collapse and held him while they kept Luke alive. He’d felt helpless looking into Alec’s determined eyes then, and he felt helpless now.

“I don’t think I can fight this.” He spoke calmly, which somehow gave his words all the more impact. Magnus felt a shiver run down his spine. “Even if I can, I--I don’t think I want to.”

Magnus shook his head. “But you wanted to keep your control.”

“Changed my mind.”

And then he was kneeling in front of the couch, before Magnus. How did he keep moving so fast, faster than Magnus could possibly track? Was his own reaction time really that fucked? Either way, his body was having a specific and intense reaction to Alec suddenly kneeling right in front of his lap.

Magnus crossed his legs tighter and leaned away, as much as he could. “Okay, well, we should--let’s talk about this--”

Words went dry on his tongue. Alec had clasped Magnus’ legs, his hands creeping up his thighs to hold his waist, his thumbs pressing into the crease of his hips. Magnus couldn't keep in a gasp, and now Alec was bent half over him, his head bowed in Magnus’ lap. Oh hell. “This feels so good. You feel amazing.”

“You're on drugs,” Magnus pointed out. They both were: Alec’s hands on his abdomen, the tips of his hair brushing Magnus’ lap, it felt just as incredible to Magnus as it apparently did to Alec. It was hard to hang on to the thread of logic in his mind for why they should restrain themselves.

Alec lifted his head and Magnus kissed him, cupping his cheek. Alec moaned into his mouth and Magnus allowed his hand to slide into Alec’s hair, clenching his fingers and gripping him tight. Alec responded by climbing into his lap.

Magnus was no longer thinking in language. Everything in his head was slurring into desire, sensation and feeling--including the feeling of worry for Alec and a reluctance that he was still grimly clinging to, but it was so hard to maintain the same grip on the logical reasons behind his fear. Maybe his fear was unfounded; maybe it felt so right to be doing this, here and now with Alec’s tongue sliding over the curve of his jaw and down his throat, because it _was_ right.

“This could be bad, you know,” Magnus managed with the last of his coherence, his traitorous fingers already slipping beneath the waistband of Alec’s yoga pants. “What if you regret this?”

Magnus felt Alec’s frustrated, tight exhalation of breath against his collarbone. “I don’t know. I don’t care.”

“I know you well enough to spot that for the gigantic lie it is, Alexander.”

“All right, fine.” Alec pulled back enough to frown at him. “I care! I’m scared that we might regret this, but I’m too--I want you too much, so I’m giving in.”

Magnus swallowed. “That isn’t reassuring.”

“So don’t be reassured. Push me away if you want, or go into another room or kick me out. But I’m right here, and I want you, and I…. I’m ready.”

What was the right choice here? Alec wasn’t so far gone that he wasn’t himself, but he still might be miserable over this later. Might be miserable over Magnus later. As hazy as Magnus’ decision-making faculties were right now, his feelings for Alec were still at the forefront of everything. Even with magically-enhanced lust making him incredibly stupid, it was the same now for Magnus as it had been months ago, one priority rising above the rest and remaining strong no matter how vulnerable or soft or young it made him feel.

He just wanted this boy to like him.

“If you’re ready, then I’m ready. We can regret it or not together.”

Alec’s smile was shaky, but clear. He rolled his hips against Magnus and Magnus arched up in kind, losing his breath at the heat that shot through him. When they kissed, he almost felt like he could feel what Alec was feeling, like Alec’s nerve endings were sending sensations to Magnus’ brain. 

Conscious thought fell away. All that remained was the urgency of Alec’s hands on him, pushing up his shirt, fingers pressing into his back. Magnus wrapped his arms around him and pulled down and then somehow they were off the chair, sliding to the floor, rolling around on the plush oriental rugs of Magnus’ sitting room. 

Magnus wound up on top, straddling Alec’s waist and grinding down against him. Sitting up was a bit of a struggle--Alec tried to follow him up, and Magnus had to press him back down to the carpet with a hand on his chest. He wanted to see Alec, to get a good look at him. Alec went pliant, his shoulders sagging and his head falling back, exposing his throat as he panted. His skin was flushed all over. 

Magnus paused here to enjoy the view, his own breathing harsh and uneven. He spread his palms out over Alec’s chest and rolled his hips experimentally, then did it again when Alec cried out. 

“You’re so loud,” Magnus said, continuing to ride him. “That’s a surprise. I would have bet on the opposite.”

“Guess I’m--full of surprises--” Alec made to grab his hips, but Magnus took his hands and pressed his wrists to the floor, above his head, thrilling when Alec groaned and let him. He looked so good like this, his t-shirt riding up to expose most of his ribs, his wrists pressing up against Magnus’ fingers just enough--not enough to really resist. His hips bucked up wildly and Magnus readjusted, finding the right point of alignment for the best friction of their dicks together. Magnus rolled his hips again and the surge of pleasure and warmth shook through him like a heatwave, with the magic heightening everything and urging him forward. 

Alec was thrusting up against him again and again and Magnus lacked control over his own movements, matching Alec for every muscle twitch and gasp and bitten-down groan. He felt a shudder in his thighs and clung to Alec harder, rode him faster, his firm grip on Alec’s wrists loosening as desire drew his body downward. Alec rose up to kiss him and it was fire, it was everything, it was Alec’s tongue hot and demanding in his mouth while Alec freed his hands and grabbed Magnus’ hair, pulling and yanking him down. Now Alec had Magnus’ bottom lip between his teeth, biting down and adding a sweet spike of pain to every other heady sensation.

Alec’s hips never stopped jutting against him and it was too much, too fast--Magnus had a millennium's worth of stamina built up, but whether it was the sex magic or the sheer excitement of this being _Alec_ that was under him, he found his body heading for the finish line with the eager speed of a much younger man. With effort, he broke their lip-lock and got his palm back on the center of Alec’s chest to push him back down to the floor, but that just made Alec moan and writhe against the pressure. 

“Stop that,” Magnus managed to say between shaky breaths. He squeezed his eyes shut, grimacing; he really needed his language facilities to kick in more than this. “I mean, stop or I’m going to come. We have all night, don’t you want to slow it down? I don’t even know what you like.”

“What I like?” Magnus had never heard Alec’s voice sound like this, intimate and thick with desire. It made his cock twitch, and god, Magnus could come right this second. He gritted his teeth. “I--I don’t know.”

“No need to be coy.” As long as they were talking, they weren’t grinding, which meant Magnus could get ahold of himself. He took long breaths, sitting up to look Alec in the eye and smile at him. “What have you tried before? What have you liked?”

Alec’s expression shuttered, and Magnus watched the bob of his adam’s apple as he swallowed. “Uh, we don’t have to talk about that. Let’s just--”

His hands were back on Magnus’ hips, strong fingers creeping up the small of Magnus’ back, his thumb brushing Magnus’ ribs. Magnus’ eyes fluttered shut and he unconsciously mimicked the movement when Alec pushed his cock up against him. It would be so easy to stop talking, to keep going. The incubus’ magic was focusing every single one of his higher brain functions ns on his nervous system, on the way Alec was touching him and the way Alec’s groin felt against his painfully hard dick.

But Alec’s words were confusing and they stuck around, keeping Magnus’ brain online just enough to say, “Why not? What do you--mean--”

“Nothing! It’s fine, okay?”

“Oh my god, Alec.” A few crystal moments of sobriety managed to cut through the haze and Magnus opened his eyes, staring down to see Alec avoiding his gaze. “Are you--you’re not--”

Alec’s lips pressed together in a grim line. The half-question hung in the air between them, painfully awkward and unfinished, and Magnus realized that Alec wasn’t going to answer until he finished the thought. “Have you had sex before?”

Now Alec was glaring at him. “You were my first kiss,” he snapped. “So no.”

If Magnus had been entirely sober, it would have been a record scratch moment, freezing everything he was doing. As it was, he managed to sit up a bit more but he couldn’t stop his traitorous hips from moving, which took the wind out of the sails of his shock somewhat.

“This is going to be your first time? Alec, that’s--we can stop--”

Alec ignored Magnus’ half-hearted suggestion and cupped his cheeks, pulling him down for a kiss. “I don’t want to stop.”

It was better than ‘I don’t think I can stop,’ at least. Magnus let himself follow the kiss, lying down on top of Alec and cupping his cheek, licking into his mouth. “Your first time shouldn’t be because of some rogue incubus you had to contain.”

Alec made a frustrated noise and then he was wrapping an arm around Magnus, rolling them both over until Magnus’ back was on the floor. Magnus lay there with his hands splayed over his head, catching his breath, dizzy from the drugs or from Alec or both. Alec sat up with his thighs on either side of Magnus’ chest, looking startled at himself, like it had only just now occurred to him that he could take the initiative. Well, this was his first time, so maybe it really hadn’t occurred to him before.

“That’s what I thought at first, when I was trying to fight this. But if it weren’t for that incubus, I would probably feel awkward right now, or nervous, or--” Alec’s chest rose and fell slowly with his breath, and there was nothing reluctant in his eyes. “Right now I feel fine. I feel great, as long as we’re touching. And I just want to go with that.”

Magnus thought about his own first time having sex--what he could remember of it, anyway. It wasn’t like he’d been entirely sober for the event. Maybe it was just the magic right now that was leading to a comparison of that night to this one, but he didn’t want to condescend to Alec. 

“But you weren’t going to tell me.”

Alec grimaced. “Yeah. I--I’m sorry. I just--” Their hips rolled together again, heat and friction sucking Magnus in. Alec’s eyes fluttered closed. “Talking hasn’t been easy. I got hit harder than you, r-remember?”

“Ah.” Magnus was going to let this go, he knew; his hands were already touching Alec everywhere he could reach, his lips already shaping into a teasy, fond smile. It wasn’t in Magnus’ nature to be hard on people, not really, and he was especially never one to cling to conflict when under any kind of chemical and/or magical influence. There remained a kernel of unease in the back of his mind, but it felt further and further away the more they touched.

Alec groaned when Magnus grabbed his ass and squeezed, then glanced down to see the hard outline of Alec’s cock bob when his hips bucked. Magnus licked his lips.

“Get up here,” he said, urging Alec to straddle higher on his chest, up to his shoulders. “I want to suck your dick.”

“Jesus, okay.” Alec moved hesitantly and Magnus had to slap his ass lightly before he huffed and finally scooted up until his groin was at Magnus’ eye level. Magnus grinned up at him. He ran his hand along Alec’s length through his pants, enjoying the way it sent a small tremor through both of them. When he yanked the waistband down and touched him with his bare palm, all the incubus’ magic still within him surged, and for a moment Magnus felt his senses blink powerfully out.

When his awareness returned, Alec’s penis was in his mouth. Magnus was salivating and everything was wet and warm and tasted fucking great. He was almost never not in the mood to give head, but right now it was like a void yawned open within him and demanded satisfaction in only this way, a furious craving to stretch his lips wider and fill his mouth and throat with Alec until he gagged. 

Magnus enjoyed the intimacy of oral sex, the way it brought so many of his senses into the act and demanded all his focus--hard to be distracted from a task you were doing with your mouth. But this was another level, with everything magnified. Magnus wasn’t thinking anymore. Wasn’t experiencing time in the same way. 

Alec’s cock was pushing at the back of his throat and it wasn’t unpleasant to take him in even further, until his lips were brushing pubic hair and his eyes were watering. It wasn’t unpleasant to feel Alec’s fingers in his hair, twisting and pulling, keeping him down. Distantly he could hear Alec’s voice, calling out his name or crying out something else, and that was Alec’s fingers on his cheek, stroking down his jaw. Alec was fucking his mouth and if Magnus weren't so far gone, he might be impressed with Alec for just going for it like that when this was the first time anyone had ever given him a blowjob.

When Magnus looked up, the angle and the friction of a dick thrusting in and out of his mouth made it tricky to see much of anything at all. But he did get a glimpse of Alec's head thrown back, his chest heaving, sweat glinting off his jaw. Magnus felt his own cock twitch as heat coursed through him at the sight.

Magnus kind of wanted Alec to look down at him, but he didn't want to stop long enough to ask. They were moving in tandem, Magnus’ mouth and his tongue matching the rhythmic thrust of Alec's hips, Alec's fingers twisting in his hair while Magnus fingers burned indentations into Alec's thighs, holding on. Even the carpet fibers beneath Magnus’ shoulders felt like so much more than they were. If regular sex sometimes felt to him like being on board a speeding train, this time it felt like he _was_ the train--they both were, any boundaries between them rendered as insubstantial as air.

Magnus felt Alec's dick stiffen on his tongue and heard Alec's moans start to stutter, but he made no move to pull off. He wanted Alec to come down his throat, wanted to swallow it all. And he got his wish: Alec gasped and rocked into him as he came, filling Magnus’ mouth, shooting down the back of his throat. Magnus swallowed and swallowed and only choked a bit at the very end, sputtering as he pulled back, the last drops of semen painting his chin. 

Alec collapsed over him, then rolled to the side while Magnus tried to catch his breath, blinking up at the ceiling. He felt strange: there was his natural satisfaction, pleased at making someone else feel good, and then there was the foreign magic thrumming through him, which was reacting to giving Alec an orgasm in a more visceral, hungry sense. 

Magnus wiped the come on his chin with this thumb and then licked it off. Sure enough, his magical sex high seemed to like that. He supposed it made sense, that the tension from this spell would be eased as much by making someone else come as it was by his own orgasm.

“Oh, god.” Magnus felt Alec’s shaky hand on his shoulder and then in his hair, and looked over to see Alec looking at him with a pained expression on his face. “I--I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to be so rough, I--I lost control--”

Magnus blinked at him; it took him a moment to realize what Alec must be apologizing for, and then he couldn’t help but smile. “You don’t have to apologize for that, that was _fun._ ” 

Alec kissed him, which Magnus hadn’t quite expected. It was sweet, Alec making soft noises into his mouth and curling his fingers into Magnus’ hair, holding him more gently than he had while fucking Magnus’ face. Magnus kissed back, rolling over on his side to hold Alec and press himself up against him.

He was still hard, and the incubus’ magic was a wave surging inside him, gaining momentum and needing to crest. Parts of him were moving without his permission, his leg wrapping around Alec to pull him in closer, his dick grinding against Alec’s abdomen, his fingers trailing down Alec’s back to grab his ass. 

Alec made a soft sound into Malec’s mouth. “What, um--can you--what should I…?”

Magnus was about to tease him about using his words before he remembered that Alec had never done this before. “Just touch me,” he said. “That’s all I need.”

Alec kissed his jaw and then his neck, teeth pressing lightly just beneath Magnus’ jugular. His hand moved between them and he touched Magnus’ dick hesitantly at first, knuckles brushing along the length. Magnus jerked at the touch, over-sensitive and too responsive. He was still wearing pants somehow, his god damn bathrobe still tied, and somehow Alec managed to interpret a cry for help out of his inarticulate hand gestures and grunting, and helped him get undressed.

Then Magnus was sprawled out on his open robe, his chest bare and his pants hanging from one ankle. He kicked them off and grinned up at Alec, who was sitting up and looking him over. Being naked like this in front of Alec was exhilarating, a huge turn-on, and he didn’t feel shy at all. He was so ludicrously euphoric at the prospect of Alec touching him that he almost felt childlike, all his thoughts and emotions simplistic and happy.

That was possibly the drugs talking, but Magnus would take it. Alec was smiling back at him, warm and affectionate. He touched Magnus’ dick with more confidence now, stroking him and running his fingers over the head. 

Magnus groaned. “Harder--more pressure, ah, yes like that--”

Alec took instructions very well. He tightened his grip and Magnus arched in response, clinging to Alec’s shoulders and letting his head fall back. Alec’s hand was rough, callused from all his archery, but Magnus loved it. 

Alec stopped briefly to spit in his palm, and then hesitated, looking down. Magnus was about to start begging that he continue--between the incubus’ magic and the looming cliff’s edge of his orgasm, dignity was an afterthought at best--and then Alec was moving down to kneel between his legs.

“I’m going to try sucking you,” he said, blushing a little. The part of Magnus’ brain that hadn’t just shorted out entirely was endeared. “I’m probably going to be bad at it. Try not to laugh.”

“Laughing is--ahh--” ‘the furthest thing on my mind’ was how that sentence was supposed to end, but Alec had just licked a long stripe from Magnus’ balls to the head of his cock and words were now a thing of the past. 

Alec was a bit clumsy, but he had the right basic idea, fitting the head into his mouth and sliding his tongue over it. He slid his mouth down further and sucked lightly. Magnus couldn’t stop his hips from bucking up, but Alec took it, swallowing around Magnus’ cock. 

It felt pretty amazing for being Alec’s first blowjob. His teeth grazed Magnus a couple of times, but interestingly the sex magic made that feel just as much like pleasure as pain, and Alec was good at backing off when Magnus reminded him to be careful of his teeth. It hardly mattered when compared to the wet heat of Alec’s mouth, the softness of his lips wrapped around the shaft, his cheek when he rubbed his face against Magnus’ dick (jesus, he must have seen that in porn). 

Magnus couldn’t look away, and Alec kept looking up at him with his eyes wide and searching, like he was looking for confirmation that he was doing this right. Magnus’ heart twisted, his feelings wrapped up and tangled with the greedy rush of sexual gratification. Some part of him had yet to fully adapt to the still-new truth that Alec--beautiful, wary, brave Alec--wanted to be with him at all, and that part was struck dumb with shock over what he saw now: Alec between his legs, sucking his cock, making him come.

For all the maddening intensity of every sensation leading up to this, his orgasm was a relaxed one, more like a tide washing up on the shoreline than a tidal wave crashing down. Magnus’ body sagged with relief as warmth flooded through him. 

He’d managed to warn Alec before it hit, and Alec pulled off, sitting up and watching Magnus shoot onto his own stomach. He kept touching him, stroking over Magnus’ thigh as he twitched through the aftershocks. When Magnus was finally spent, Alec laid down next to him.

“Wow,” Magnus felt after what felt like hours, but was probably only a few minutes of silence. “I feel…. so much better.”

“Me too.”

Alec was lying on his side, his head pillowed on his arm, looking at Magnus with half-lidded eyes. He smiled when he saw Magnus looking back.

“I just realized, we can sleep on an actual bed. It might be an improvement over my living room carpet. Shall we?”

“Yeah, sure,” Alec said, yawning. He let Magnus pull him to his feet, and much to Magnus’ delight, they continued to hold hands as he led them to the bedroom. 

***

Magnus woke up to the sound of his phone ringing. He wanted to ignore it, but some semblance of responsibility took him through the motions of answering, quite without his conscious say-so. 

It was Isabelle Lightwood, asking if Magnus had her brother. She sounded hesitant to ask, just as Magnus felt hesitant answering, both of them aware of the awkward newness of this new familial bond, where now Magnus was on the theoretical phone tree of people to call when tracking down her brother. Magnus had gotten the impression that this phone tree had been quite small prior to his arrival.

“Yes, he’s here. We’re safe. Just recuperating.” Magnus didn’t know how much Isabelle knew about the kind of demon they’d been fighting, didn’t know if she’d read into what he meant by ‘recuperating.’

“Well, it would be great if he could give me a call to check in when he can, but I don’t want to interrupt the recuperation,” Isabelle said smoothly. So, definitely she’d read into it then. “I’ll leave it to your discretion when to let him know I called. No need to stress him out unnecessarily.”

“How thoughtful of you,” Magnus said. He glanced down at Alec, still fast asleep despite the phone conversation happening next to him. Before Magnus had sat up to take this call, Alec’s cheek had rested on his shoulder; now his face had managed to miss the pillow, resting instead on the bare sheets. Magnus ran his fingers through his hair without really thinking about it, let his thumb trace down Alec’s temple to the slight and soft edge of his eyelashes.

After Isabelle hung up, Magnus wasn’t quite sure what to do with himself. He wanted to fall back asleep and put off what could be a very awkward conversation through unconsciousness, but he was wide awake.

At least he also felt entirely sober. If the chemicals had all been chased from his system by sex and sleep, hopefully it was the same for Alec.

Magnus tried to remember his previous encounters with sex magic. Most of those memories had been made more than a century ago, and due to the nature of those situations his memory was foggy, anyway. But he was pretty sure those previous experiences had been about chasing sensations, taking leave of his ability to make conscious choices, reveling in the hedonism--and he remembered his own need for escapism much clearer than he remembered anything about the people he'd done any of it with.

He knew that he'd never been through this before with someone he cared for quite so much. The stakes of this were entirely new territory for him.

Alec stirred before Magnus could come to any conclusions about how to proceed. How strange that a person blinking and yawning and slowly sitting up should cause Magnus' heart to hammer like this. Magnus wasn't sure whether to blame the adrenaline rush on affection or terror, or possibly both.

"Hey," Alec said, looking at him. Magnus was braced for a number of reactions (embarrassment, confusion, or worse, shame), but instead he thought Alec was--smiling? There was a slight curve to his lips, anyway. His brown eyes were as serious as ever, but he didn’t look unhappy. Magnus’ heart leapt.

"Good morning! Although I don't think it's morning, technically. Good afternoon? Good evening?" Magnus checked his phone, saw that it was only four. "Good afternoon, certainly."

Alec stretched, looking around Magnus’ bedroom. "The institute will want to know where I am. I should..."

"I already talked to Isabelle. She knows where you are." Magnus thought about telling Alec that he should call her when he had a chance, but that would definitely make him call her right now, and.... maybe Magnus would exercise the discretion he'd been entrusted with for a little while longer. "How are you feeling?"

Alec laughed, surprising Magnus again. "Good. Well--I feel normal. Not like my skin is on fire."

"I also feel normal, which I think we can go ahead and consider a win." Magnus was grinning stupidly, he couldn’t help it. He didn’t even know what he’d been afraid of with this particular afternoon-after, but Alec laughing in his bed was more than he’d let himself hope for. 

“Can we…” Alec’s motions were slow and a little unsure as he reached out, but Magnus took his meaning and laid back down, curling up close in Alec’s embrace. Alec’s arm settled over Magnus’ back and Magnus nuzzled his face into the crook of Alec’s shoulder, breathing him in.

They didn’t talk for a long time. For once, Magnus didn’t want to talk. He knew that they should, eventually, but he wanted to know that they would be all right if he didn’t rush to communicate, to poke and prod and solve things immediately. He wanted to just be here with Alexander.

Alec was the one who eventually broke the silence. “I’m glad that last night happened.”

“Really?” Magnus leaned back enough to look him in the eye. “I mean--I’m glad too, last night was wonderful, but. You don’t have any regrets?”

Magnus watched as Alec mulled over the question, thoughtful as always. “The incubus… losing control like that. I’d regret it if it had been anyone else. But not with you.”

“Because you already wanted to have sex with me?”

“No. I mean yeah, but mostly because I just…” Alec inclined his face into the pillow, his smile turning chagrined. “I know you’d never judge me, that you’re nothing like--like my parents or the Clave. I feel like I can be myself with you.”

No victory had ever tasted this sweet. If Magnus had been standing, his knees would be weak; he could hear the shake in his own voice when he spoke, like he was afraid instead of deeply relieved. “I… can’t even tell you how happy I am to hear that.”

Magnus wanted to kiss him, hoping that he could make Alec could feel the joy he couldn’t express verbally. But Alec kissed him first.


End file.
